Monday 04-08 - The Phone Call

We went for breakfast. Then we got a message to home call. We went upstairs to talk in the quiet. My heart pounded in my gut, I knew what was coming. She had left us that morning from complications of twisted gut.

We cried until we couldn't cry anymore. We sat in silence until we couldn't stand the room anymore. Then we walked around Amsterdam. We got out the door and just kept going. When we hit a bend we went another way. We walked down the flower market and took a glance at potential gifts for people back home. The rain started and stopped as we walked. The clouds covered the sky in grey.

Then Dani called us. That brought me to tears again. We so wanted to all be together. We were torn apart by mere days. The few days that separated us seemed like an eternity that day. A month before we had brought our eurostar to London forward two days to surprise Dani. I was now so thankful we did. It would only be a couple more days before we could be together.

The fresh air did me some good. I felt like I could breath. We walked back to the hostel, where we sat ourselves down in the black cushioned chill out area next to the bar. We ordered toasties from the bar. We sat and updated some photos. We didn't really feel like doing much else.

A short while later we were hungry again. I popped out to wok to walk and brought back beef rice stir fry. We ate where we lay.

We stayed there for the rest of the day. We made our way up to the bedroom in the evening. The lights were off as I got up off the lower bunk to reach the upper bunk. The dark room and all sleeping within were suddenly awoken with a cry of ¨Motherfucker!¨. In the cover of darkness I had slammed my head into the invisible wall with great force. I apologised to my room mates and climbed onto my bed. My head throbbing, I slowly get to sleep. I hope that my next day will be easier.

I knew when I left Australia this would happen some time while I was away. I just didn't want to think about it. No one wants the time to actually come. But it does, no matter where you are or what you had planned. There were things I had wanted to do while I was there. Coffee shops, smart shops, other experiences. I knew now that none of these would happen. I accepted that our Amsterdam experienced would be wanting through no fault of any one. Maybe it would give me something to came back for. Life does what life wants.